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How Do You Know You Are Loved?

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My friend,
you are dearly loved.
Even when you don’t feel it sometimes;
Even when people fail to tell you just how much you mean to them;
Even when people don’t express it the way you want them to.

How do you know you are loved? Below are some of the things worth exploring:

1. GET A HUG

Nothing can compare to the warmth
generated by a hug.
No person feels as secure, as intimate, as needed, as loved, as
someone being hugged.
At times I forget the nicest things said about me, but I cannot forget those times I have been hugged.
For surely, it brushes away our fears and turns our tears into waterfalls of grace.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for it from those whom you know has great
concern for you.
Oftentimes, people really want to give it away, but are just afraid to offer it. Such people would be more than willing to give to you that loving embrace if only you will ask.
So why not ask?

A sweet smile,
a warm embrace,
a hand to hold;
small things,
precious things,
joyful moments,
for the one who receives,
and the one who lovingly gives the

2. GIVE OTHERS THE CHANCE TO CARE FOR YOU.

We are so wrapped up
in our independence,
in our pride,
in our self-sufficiency.
We have built a wall around us
to protect ourselves from pain.
But in doing so,
we have starved ourselves from the love and concern of those who truly care for us.
The wall we have built has kept us from receiving the attention and care
for which our inner selves have long been screaming for.

Let others care for you.
Ask help when you need it, and gratefully accept help given you.

Ask your mother to cook your favorite recipe.
Ask your friends to come over for a pajama party.
Ask your officemates to help you for a work you find too difficult to do.
Ask your church mates to pray for you.
Ask the kids to help you with the house chores.
Ask your husband for that kiss you’ve been missing for so long.
Ask and admit your needs.
Ask and it shall be given you!

3. FORGIVE; DON’T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE PERFECT.

In order to feel loved, we must learn the value of forgiveness.
Remember that no matter how deeply people may care for us, there will be
times when the very people who love us would be the same people who would let us down.
But even that does not change the fact that we are loved.
Mistakes, weaknesses and momentary hurts must not waste a lifetime of
caring and sincere devotion for one another.

There is so much to love in each other, but we are so often blinded by little moons ,which eclipse the entire SUNS of our beings!

Life is not perfect, but that does not mean we can never find happiness.
Life is difficult, but that does not mean it can never be beautiful!
My friend, do something for yourself and for the people who love you:
Believe that you are loved!
TRUST.
Have faith!
Cling on to this truth and fight for it!

It may have been easier had we only understood
why people failed us,
why people hurt us,
why people acted in ways
we never expected them to.
It may have been easier,
but there are some things
we just couldn’t do.

We cannot peek into their hearts
to see how much sorrow they are trying to bear.
We cannot sink into their thoughts to know what struggles
they are going through. We cannot demand that they explain themselves to us and do what we want them to do.
We can only be a bit kinder than we are supposed to be.
We can only be a bit braver than we think we ought to be.
In times when we cannot understand,
may we learn to trust.
May we learn to be still and have faith.

Only those who are strong can truly love fully.
Strive to be strong.
Forgive when others are weak.

4. NOURISH YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Everything that is of great worth should be properly cared for.
Plants left untended wither;
Houses left abandoned end in ruin;
Copper left unpolished tarnish;
Friendships left unattended die.
If anything is of much value, spend time and effort to care for it.
And nothing is of greater importance than our bond with the people we love.

Though we are important to people,
we should also let these people know how important they are in our lives.
Only in giving do we truly receive.
Only in loving can we ensure to keep the channels of
intimacy and affection open.
Express the love you have within you.
Let its joy overflow!
For what is love if we cannot share its warmth with someone else?

It is useless to tell your brother how much God loves him,
unless you are willing to extend your hands, and be the manifestation of the love you are talking about!

Take time to call your mother every now and then.
Write a letter to a friend you have not heard from in years.
Treat your partner to dinner and reminisce the old days.
Schedule an outdoor activity for people you don’t see everyday.
Hold a class reunion after 20 years.

Nourish your relationships.
Spend time while it is yours to give.
What you intend to do need not be costly.
It need not even require a whole day from you.
You can choose to spend your minute in full and undivided attention
for someone in order to reap a blessing that will last for a lifetime.

We take care of our clothes,
We take care of our car,
We take care of our muscles,
We take care of our garden,
We take care of our dogs,
We take care of our hair,
We take care of our jobs,
We take care of our shoes,
We take care of our computers,
We even take care of our nails.
Shouldn’t we also take care
of our relationships?

5. UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT PERSONS,
AS WELL AS DIFFERENT SEASONS

People are different.
What is true to us may not be true to some.
What is trash to many may be a treasure to few.
Who can therefore judge another?
Not one has lived a day within a body other than his own!

How do we know then whether we are loved or not?
Through the words people say?
Some people are just not good
with words.
Through the hugs we receive?
Some people are just not touch persons.
Through the gifts given us?
Some people just don’t know what gifts to buy.
(Some people just don’t have the money!)
How do we know then?

My friend,
sometimes we just know it!

At other times, we don’t even know

I used to think my father doesn’t love me. And I grew up believing there is nothing I can ever do to please him. While other kids would happily play games with their dads, I couldn’t even hug mine.

Until this day, I couldn’t remember a single moment that I ever saw him smile at me. He was just a strict father. A breadwinner. The man who wouldn’t even let me out of the house to play with other kids.

That was all I knew, at least, until he died. Until his wake where his officemates told me just how proud he
was of me. The man who wouldn’t even talk to me has talked much about me! Proudly!

Later, I also learned that even his over protectiveness was a sign of his deep concern for me. Growing up
without getting the kind of attention he yearned from his parents, his strictness was after all, a sign of his
great love for me. I didn’t know it. I didn’t know how much I was loved!

Each one is unique.
Each has his own way of
expressing the love he holds within himself.
In the same way, each season is distinct.
And the same people who love us will not always love us in the same way.

There will be seasons of spring.
Such is the yearning of every heart
that loves.
A season of affection pouring down like showers
in springtime.
A season of intimacy and intense attachment with each other.
It is the season of lovebirds, Of young love budding out of
nowhere, Of friends taking sudden interest in each other’s lives, Of mothers and babies enjoying moments of quiet embrace.
Such is spring.
Such is the season to be savored and saved, to be cherished
and lived as though it would never come to an end.

There will be seasons of summer.
Of adventures and events which leave us both breathless and thankful,
both tired and excited with the ride.
Enjoy your summer.
Enjoy the many activities,
which shall strengthen your bond.

Yet in all these, there shall also be autumn and winter.
There shall be moments of silence, and there shall be moments of biting
cold.
How we desire to forego such seasons.
How we yearn to go back in summertime,
and how we miss the magic of spring!
Yet even in such moments, even in such seasons,
we can find that we are loved.

There will be times of misunderstanding.
There will be times of pain.
A time when we have all the right to
doubt the love we thought was there.
Indeed, there will be times of biting
winter winds.
Yet even the pangs of winter cannot kill the roots, which have deeply established itself.
We have only to dig within, to discover, to remember, to know that we are loved.

Your child has disobeyed you and went after the man she chose. Yet it doesn’t mean your child does not cry secretly in sorrow of disappointing you.

Your father has not approved of the career you desire and insisted his own plans instead. Yet it doesn’t mean he sleeps soundly at night and does not yearn to take back the decision he made for you.

Your friend did not accept the apology you made and acted as though she could never accept you again. Yet it doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss you and desire your company once more.

Life does not disappear in winter.
Love does not disappear as well.
It is embedded in the innermost part of our being.
It is deeply rooted and shall rise again in spring.

In autumn, when we cannot foresee
spring as clearly as we can in winter,
we have with us the harvest of summer and spring to see us through.
All the work has been done.
Memories have been made.
We wish it could remain forever in ways we have been used to,
but another season opens Change comes, and we must yield.

The kids have grown up and now have affairs of their own.
Friends have married, and we terribly miss the adventures shared with them.
Neighbors have gone abroad, and we suddenly have no one to share our secret recipe with.
Lifetime partners have passed away, and we have no idea how to fill the void they have left
in our lives.

Autumn comes and takes away that, which we hold so dear.
Autumn comes and we are called to let go once more.
In certain ways,
we let go of a child who has grown up,
we let go of a friend who seeks a new path in life,
we let go of a loved one who has gone before us in the next life.
Yet even death does not and cannot take away the love you have shared
at one point in your life.
TREASURE IT!
It is forever yours!

I remember the great love of my grandparents for one another. For fifty years, they were able to show the world that love can indeed stand the tests of time, that affection for one another need not pass away with age, and that the greatest legacy we can ever leave is love freely and unselfishly given.

I was blessed indeed to be a witness to that love for a few years that I have lived before my grandfather
died. And the day he died, my heart was broken. Not only because I would miss my grandfather. Not only
because I grieve for my grandmother. But more so because I couldn’t bear to witness the end of such a love.

Through the years however, I’ve learned how I have greatly underestimated the extent and depth of that love, how I have misjudged it; for in truth, it never really came to an end the day my grandfather died.

To this very day, I am still a witness how my grandmother is able to treasure the love they have shared. I
am still a witness how love is kept alive in the hearts and minds of those who carry on the radiance of its
warmth.

Autumn can take away many things,
but not the love we have freely given away.

Each season brings a new challenge.
But no season can hinder us from knowing we are loved.

6. LEARN TO REACH OUT

Not many of us are blessed with a
family who has always been there for
us.
Not many of us have loads of friends
whom we can count on to see us through the darkest and loneliest of
days.
But few of us could ever complain that we have not been given
any opportunity to reach out and care for people within our reach.

We need not look far to find lonely people.
We need not walk long to brighten someone else’s day.
We need only to open our eyes and see.
We need only to open our hands and reach out.

How many people do you meet everyday?
Whether you are working at a business district, a wet market, a
school, a shop, a construction area, a store, or even at home, there are
always people within your reach.

And sometimes, all we need is a smile to bring a little warmth in another person’s day.

There might be that grouchy man you always bump into at rush hour.
There might be a little kid asking for a piece of bread.
There might be a boss who just couldn’t open up his heart.
There might be a widower longing for a little chat.
There might be an old aunt yearning for a bit of attention all these years.
There might be an employee feeling a bit left out.
There might be a mother terribly missing her daughter.
There might be a daughter terribly missing her Mom.
There might be a stranger needing a little help.
There might be a neighbor waiting for a smile.
There might be a friend hoping for a chat over a cup of coffee.
There might be a heart longing for another heart.

You may claim to be lonely, but there are people lonelier than you are!
You may claim to be poor,
yet you did not take into account how much you can still give away.

Mere surfing over the Internet could give you a pretty good idea how many
lonely people are out there: people working in a foreign land, people with disabilities and debilitating diseases that keep them from going out and meeting new friends, people who have been hurt and abandoned by those
they cared for the most.
You could be a light to them.
Your messages can be the warm hand of a friend they have been longing for.

Wherever you are, there will always be people you can touch.
And the briefness of the encounter need not hinder us from making a
lasting difference by sharing whatever small thing we can give

Go ahead!
Touch.
Reach out.
Do random acts of kindness and don’t expect anything in return!

But if in any chance you do get something back;
if in any chance, you realize you have made another person happy;
and then you finally realize that you are loved,
that would be a miracle we should all be thankful for!

When you realize you are loved,
could there be any logical reason
you should not love yourself as much as others have cared for you?

Submitted by: June

Music: ‘Hope’ © Margi Harrell

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